There was a time when starting a painting was both exciting and frightening. I would sit gazing into space wondering what the painting would look like, what did I want to paint, would others like it….?? Ultimately all these questions would lead me to face the biggest question of all WAS I GOOD ENOUGH? Before I had even squeezed some paint onto the palette I was facing a battle. I wouldn’t back down, but it was definitely a fight. Sometimes my enemy would allow me some small gains, but always there was the lingering doubt that someone would discover that I really wasn’t good enough. I wore The Imposter Syndrome like a heavy weighted hat on my head.
Now things are different. I know that I’m on an artistic journey and yes, there will always be artists better than me, but instead of comparing myself to them, I compare myself to the ME of yesterday. And I know I produce better work, have a deeper understanding of my artistic process and a wider knowledge to draw from, just from the experience that I have gained.
How did I get from the unsure self-doubter to the current version of ME? Well, looking back it took hours of practise and a determination that I just had to persevere. I wanted to discover what I could become. There were no shortcuts and the option of giving up just wasn’t on the table. To give up would be to deny the possibility that I had something unique to discover as I believe everyone does, and to leave it unearthed and dormant in the span of a lifetime is such a tragic waste. So armed with pencils and brushes, a few handy palette knives, crayons and pastels I was set on a mission of endurance, actually a mission of a lifetime. This journey doesn’t stop when you become confident and learn to silence the voices in your head. There is never a time when you’re not challenged, and you stand before a gaping question mark that only you can find the answer to. But at least that question mark doesn’t send you into a whirl of self-doubt and undermine your confidence.
“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced”
Along with practise, there are actions you can take to accelerate your journey. Taking courses from others who have already travelled the path you are on. Others with more experience can offer expertise and wisdom that they have gained solving the same problems that every artist tussles with. It may be practical knowledge on techniques and the use of materials, understanding of artistic principles or unravelling the tangles in your mindset as you try to establish your practice. A recommended course, or a program offered by someone whose work you admire and who you trust can be money well spent to improve your results and help you gain confidence.
Recently, I established a facebook group to encourage people to get creative during lockdown during the Covid19 crisis. This group has grown and has a wide variety of artists and creatives who are enjoying the community of the group and are posting their creations. There are experienced artists in this group who still battle with self-doubt, and there are those who have only recently taken to making marks on paper and proudly post their first attempts. The ability to unravel those voices in your head is vital to success in Art.
I well remember at Art School the students who confidently strutted around the studio admiring their own work from every angle, while I hovered close to my easel secretly trying to obliterate it from the view of others. If I had been that confident student then, who knows how my work would have evolved? Well, I wasn’t, but in my prime in mid-50’s I’m finally strutting. Actually I more than strut – I dance in my studio while I paint, much to the horror of my teenage children. I so want to help those in the group to discover the joy in making Art, and in falling in love with the Art you make. It’s a heady experience.
It is from this desire to see others walk quickly over the rocks and hurdles in the artistic journey that I have established a course called STARTS:Play with Purpose. In this course I teach 5 different ways of starting a painting. It is a course for those who want to make Art but struggle with the HOW. Or those who would just like to learn new techniques and ways of working to incorporate into their own work and add to their repetoire. I offer methods of starting a painting that take you to a point where with a few individual touches the painting could almost finish itself. The work is relevant for any artist working abstractly or representationally, but as I work in acrylics it is probably not for the watercolourist or the oil painter. At the end of the course, there will be at least 20 paintings started needing your individual touch.
I am really excited as those in the group have shown immediate interest and I can’t wait to see how these techniques really give them something to develop their ideas in their own work.
If you are interested in the course, please leave a comment below or contact me so that I can send you further information.