This time last year I was an Artist, a Mother, my Darling Man’s Partner, a Sister and an Aunty. I was a part-time gardener and I played the piano. As we step eagerly into 2021 I am less and I am more. I no longer play the piano and only rarely spend a few hours in the garden. I’m all those other things – Aunty, Sister, Mother, Partner and Artist. But I’m now a Teacher again as well. I’m an Online Course Creator and a Business-woman. I write this weekly blog bearing my soul or my current innermost thoughts. How did that happen?
I have never been a leader among my peers. I am the sort that likes to sit in the middle and towards the front of a congregation –NEVER the front row. I don’t wear loud colours and was once described as the ‘girl next door’. At the time I had no idea what that meant but suspected it meant dull or at best homely. In my family I am regarded as the one with the good memory. I can remember the minutiae of family life as a child, which I put down to being an observer rather than a participator. I was quiet and watched.
At what point did I decide to stand up, fluff up my feathers and start squarking? (Is that a word?) On reflection two momentous events happened that woke me up. Firstly, my father died.
A young me and my Dad
My lovely Dad, gentle, so humorous, clever, generous and always with a twinkle in his eye. He faded away and suddenly time meant more than it had ever done before. I realised that at some stage a full-stop would be applied to the end of my life, so what did I want to get done? I felt a sense of urgency to stop faffing around and get on with things. Within two months of his dying I started a daily art practice.
Me with a healthy dose of SELF BELIEF
The second event happened 2 years later when I won my first award. This gave me self-belief. I had always lacked confidence as an Artist, rarely loving my work. When I was validated by someone else I shrugged off that self-doubt and just went for it. I began to trust my judgement and I believe this made a ton of difference. I was learning, I was believing and I was pushing myself to produce work that I loved. That was the goalpost – I had to LOVE it. Liking wasn’t enough, nagging doubts had to be silenced until there was no square centimeter on the surface that I wasn’t happy with.
That’s what got me painting, but what got me teaching again? Simple – COVID19. Jacinda Adern (our Prime-minister) shut the borders and put us all in lockdown. I will be forever grateful for her speedy action and that the cloud did in fact deliver a silver lining.
I don’t know whether I had a visitation from an Angel or Fairy Godmother or some entity from outer-space, but somehow it dawned on me to start a Facebook Group and teach people some basic, fun art activities to do at home while in lockdown. So started The Upbeat Artists Group although at that time I called it The Baggy Jeans Art Club – I figured everyone was living in their baggy jeans now that we had nowhere to go.
This group of people started asking me questions about materials, techniques etc. and eventually I was asked by one of these lovely women to do some coaching. Why not, I thought. I used to teach – I can do this. Plus, my partner’s business was shut, his salary cut - this was welcome income.
The Pre-cursor to The Upbeat Artists Group
I had so much fun helping people in the group and coaching that it wasn’t long before I was videoing how to start an abstract painting, and then I was videoing how to start another different abstract painting, and then I was editing… and then I was videoing and then I was getting all techy with my website and then I was an Online Course Creator!! And that is how it began…
To date 160 people have taken my stARTs course. It has been so wonderful to see how it has grown and helped so many artists take that leap into the unknown which is abstract Art. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been painting abstracts for years, when you embark on a new painting it’s always unchartered waters. This is why this type of intuitive work is so exciting. Adventures abound with every lift of the brush! Initially my intention was to teach ‘A Treasure Trove of Techniques’ but I realise now that painting with your focus on the process rather than the result is the secret sauce.
The transformation from a Self-Doubter lacking confidence and being somewhat of a drifter to the purposeful Believer that I am today never ceases to amaze me. At times though, I catch myself in a sense of panic questioning who I think I am and when will my blocks all come tumbling down? But that’s just Imposter Syndrome and I read recently if you don’t suffer from it, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough!
I believe when you get serious about what you want, apply yourself with urgency and complete dedication there is no limit to what you can achieve. What is amazing, is that what you end up achieving will probably be somewhere left of field of where you set your sights in the first place.
Really, it’s just like an abstract painting – we start off not knowing what we will produce but following what we love and we know that we will recognize it when we get there. And we do.